So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
