Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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