My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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