There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
