i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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