After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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