Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
