i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it was like eating out sand paper
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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