Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
