Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
