Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
