"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
