You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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