I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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