whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
