Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
