At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
