She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
