Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
