Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How does one acquire holy water?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
