how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
