Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
