someone threw a dead crab at me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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