i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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