he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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