he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
