so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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