He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
pray to the hookup gods
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
