Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
