i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
sex in a hospital.. check
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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