I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
