I'm really into asian looking animals
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
