I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
