Fuck appropriateness.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize