oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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