Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
