I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
