real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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