Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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