dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
