For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
