Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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