I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
