North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
