Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Less talking, more tequila
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
