I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
