Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
