You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
