Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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