All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
