I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
