i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I lost the right to judge tonight
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
