I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
