on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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