you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
