We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
