i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
