you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
