Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize