He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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