i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
